Christmas After Claus: Keeping it Special When Your Child No Longer Believes
Whether you told your child the truth about Santa, or a bully-jerk-kid spilled the beans, if this is your first year celebrating the Holidays with a non-believer I have a few tips to keep it special.
Remind them how grown-up they are
Let’s not forget how special a time this is. Transitioning from believing in Santa to having the honor of becoming Santa is a huge deal. Whatever your child’s age, if they got here, they’re ready for more responsibilities and are likely eager to dive into more adult assignments. Remind them how proud you are and how much they’ve grown-up.
Delegate an important Santa-Task
Show your trust and faith in them by giving them a responsibility all to themselves. Think about the real St. Nicholas (I have a blog on the historic figure here.) Tap into the “becoming Santa” portion of this transition and give your child an important charity to fulfil. Start talking about their special task early to give them time to get excited and make it their own. Thanksgiving is the perfect time to start this charitable conversation.
One of my favorite examples of this is to choose a person in need and become their Secret Santa. I recently heard a story of a little boy who noticed that his grumpy and reclusive neighbor retrieved her morning newspaper in her bare feet. He became really enthusiastic to buy a pair of slippers for this curmudgeonly neighbor. He did a little spy-work to estimate her size and picked out a pair all by himself. He wrapped them and snuck them on her doorstep, no tag proclaiming credit. He was ecstatic to see her the next morning-- retrieving her paper in her new digs. This is such a perfect example of becoming the spirit of (the historic) Santa.
Alternatively, you can also ask how they’d like to be involved. Some kids appreciate the added freedom of choosing their role themselves. But be prepared with a few examples on hand.
Overall, if you uphold the spirit of the real Saint Nicholas by instilling charitable traditions and you emphasize the grown-up-ness of becoming Santa, this transition will be a much easier passage.
Reveal your magic tricks
Especially if you have another little-one who believes, show them how you make the magic. Show them how you make the deer tracks, or leave cookie crumbs and carrot bites on the mantle on Christmas Eve. Or how you write “from Santa” on gift tags with your left hand to disguise your handwriting. Ask what traditions were important to them that they want to pass along. If you don’t have another believer in the house, there are still plenty of traditions to reveal: like stuffing the stockings and making meaningful shopping lists for everyone in your family.
Keep your old traditions and give them something to look forward to
Let them know what’s up-next on the agenda and what their new role is. Plan a shopping trip with someone special in mind and talk about gift ideas in the days leading up to it. Take the time to really emphasize your old, non-Santa traditions. It might be driving through the neighborhood’s Christmas light display with hot chocolate, baking cookies, or decorating the tree. Make these moments a very special event this year. Remember that your child might feel a little sad occasionally. Be prepared to address those feelings and reinforce their new important role.
If you can replace the butterflies that came from anticipation and surprise with new (and old) traditions, then this transition will be memorable.
Don’t forget to remind them to keep the secret
No one wants their child to be the tattle-tale who spoils the secret for others. It’s important to remind your budding adolescent the consequences of revealing the secret to someone who isn’t ready to learn. I have a more in-depth blog about having this conversation here.